Representing Your Loved One in the Hospital

Eight things you should know when you need to be a ’patient advocate’

On hand to provide support—Mayra Quiñones of Kunkletown stayed overnight when her sister, Maria Ildefonso of Tobyhanna, was hospitalized in the new Kasych Family Pavilion at Lehigh Valley Hospital.

Your father just had knee surgery, and he’ll be in the hospital for a few days. Knowing that he won’t be feeling well and may be reluctant to speak up about his needs, what should you do to help him while he’s there? “Representing a loved one in the hospital is a big responsibility,” says Mary Jo Moerkirk, R.N., of Lehigh Valley Hospital and Health Network. “But if you’re prepared, you can help ensure he gets the right care.” Here’s how:

1. Know your loved one’s condition. Some hospital visits are planned, others aren’t. You always can be prepared by keeping a list of Dad’s recent medical history, drug allergies and medications (prescription and other) including dose and frequency. Share the list with caregivers.

2. Know your rights. All hospitals have a Patient Bill of Rights, including the right to be treated with respect, to have your privacy protected, and to ask the hospital’s patient representative for help if needed. When should you ask? “If you feel you aren’t being listened to, or you’re frustrated and caregivers can’t help,” says Jack Lenhart, M.D., a family medicine physician with the hospital.

3. Designate one representative. You have six siblings, and all are concerned. But choosing one to represent Dad is best. “That way, caregivers know who should get regular updates,” says hospitalist Michael Pistoria, D.O. The designee can update the rest of the family.

4. Know your main doctor. “Who’s in charge depends on why your loved one is hospitalized,” Lenhart says. For surgery patients, it’s the surgeon; for most others, it’s a hospitalist, a specialist who cares for people while they’re in the hospital and communicates with their family doctor. “If you’re unsure about your point person, ask a nurse,” Moerkirk says. Doctors typically visit hospital patients once a day. “If you can’t be at the bedside when that happens, ask the nurse to have the doctor call you,” Pistoria says.

5.Write it down. Your mind will be full of questions. Record them so you won’t forget to ask something important, and record the answers too, so you can share them with the family.

6. Get personal. Has Dad been upbeat or depressed? Is he enjoying his favorite activities? “When we know your loved one’s personal habits and activities, it helps us deliver better care,” Moerkirk says.

7. Know your loved one’s health goals. If Dad is in good health, a full recovery is likely, but if he has many chronic conditions his goals may be different. Talk about this with him, then tell his caregivers. For a patient who isn’t expected to recover, your role as representative is different. “Most important is to know whether he has a living will or health care power of attorney,” Moerkirk says. These documents help you and the care team deal with tough decisions like stopping treatment.

8. Think about next steps. When his hospital stay is over, Dad may be going home or he may need care elsewhere. Case managers (also called discharge planners) will meet with you to discuss the options.

Want to Know More about your loved one’s care team or about making difficult health care decisions? For information on advance directives, call 610-402-CARE.

Published from Healthy You Magazine, September-October 2008

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